After the rain... ...just thoughts...

I love a good storm... ...the thunder, the wind, and then the downpour...

...but I really love that window after the storm, especially in the evening.  I love walking outside and breathing.  I love hearing the dripping trees and the warbling songbirds.  I love to see the sun as it settles over the hilltops in the west, just beneath the retreating rain clouds.

Today's storms weren't the violent, roaring kind though.  In fact I hardly noticed the rain.  Spring rain.  Cool air.  I walked around outside the house with nothing specific in mind to do.  I think I should do that more often.  I was revelling in the grace of today...  ...It felt like I was inside the warmth and comfort of home all day right in the midst of it all.

Work has been tough.  Probably get tougher too.  When I think too much about that or try to talk about it, I get physically sick.  No, there isn't anything but my own anxieties to deal with now.  I guess my personality is set to "hyper analyze" and while that is good for designing stuff, it's sure could be bad if you miss something.  Over time the tension has gotten to me.

But today...  ...well, back to Easter Sunday, actually.  The whole church (it seemed like that) pulled off a huge week of preparation for food and the kids' Easter play... ...it was a long week of practices and late nights working on sound and stage and tables, etc.  Saturday night I was still keyed up and should have gone to bed earlier, so I was a touch on the groggy Sunday morning - not that sleep would have helped anyway.

So, I leisurely drank my coffee, responding to an email from Lyle, postponed the shower until my first cup was done.  (A mistake in hind-sight - sorry honey.)  I happened by the upstairs bath where Crystal and McKenna were getting ready - hair stuff.  Crystal stopped me and mentioned something about McKenna only seeing only one of my eyes when I poked my head in the door.  Hmmm... ...that's wierd, what did I miss on that conversation?  Well we have to get going, so off to the shower I went.

The play, the breakfast, the service, the dinner at home with family - all went really well.  At the end of it I was sorry that the day had slipped by so fast.

And then there was Monday.  Ugh.  Monday.  Crystal and I had decided to take McKenna to the eye-doctor.  They got us in today (Tuesday).  No surprises so far.  Being me, I thought out loud, "We start with the symptoms.  Her eyes are doing weird stuff, so we start with that and maybe its an eye thing."  In my head, perhaps out loud though, I thought that this was probably going to be a little more than that.

I think I called home 4 or 5 times today until I got through just to make sure that Crystal called me with any news and "what time was the appointment anyway?"  I ended up going along and I was glad to be there to hear things first hand.  They started talking (or not talking) carefully and wanted an MRI tonight, but ended up with tomorrow. 

No thunder.  No lightning.  Just a steady rain now.  McKenna, Ava and I headed home in Grandma's car.  There was sun accross the long bridge, with the rain.  I looked to the east, hoping I would see one, and there it was, a beautiful rainbow.  The girls and I talked about what it meant - a sign of God's promise, a reminder.

McKenna heard a lot of things today, is starting to ask questions, but no one knows.  We arrived home first.  I sent her to take care of the chickens and get the mail, then had Ava help me with the kindling and they both helped with the wood.  I called my boss to let him know that I planned to be at work tomorrow - the results won't be back until later anyway - but I needed to see how Crystal was first.

One of McKenna's friends had left a message that she wanted her to come over, so I sent her over for an hour.  At least Crystal and I could talk more openly.  It turns out that we are both pretty much on the same page.  Concern, but not sure how much.  Me, a little teary, but what's new with that?

I decided to take a walk around outside to look for something that needed doing, but I really didn't have anything in mind.  The rain had stopped.  The wind was still.  I could faintly hear the girls talking and laughing, but in the cool night air they were probably still all the way over at the friend's house.  I walked past the garden and started to head for the road that McKenna would ride home on, but then I saw something really beautiful...

There were drops of rain on every branch and twig of every bush and tree, and the sun's setting behind them was just the right angle to make them look like tiny, perfect ornaments.  I couldn't get it on the camera.  I really tried.  I couldn't get it into words - but I have tried.  ...like molten little drops of glass...

Perspective.  It seems like right now, my vision is clear, my mind at rest and my heart, is over-flowing with God's grace, affection even.

Peace.  Calm.  Rest.  Somehow, I am there, like the song ...in the palm of His hand...

Good Book...

I don't often post commentary or book reports here, but this is a good read for anyone who is going through a rough patch.  Loving God with all Your Mind is written by a woman for women and I don't know much else about the author.  I picked it up while visiting my Mother-in-Law a couple of weeks ago (I am a bookshelf scanner). 

Long story short, I picked it up and read half of it in the little amount of time that I had while there - the rest of it in the time since being home. 

It was the title that caught my attention.  Honestly, I would not have picked it up had I known the content... ...I am "mature" enough to "know" all the kinds of things that she wrote.  However, in hindsight, it was a good smack up-side the head that forced me to come to terms with God's goodness, again, and in light of "today".

If you or somone that you know is in a valley - there are a lot of versions of those - I would consider this book as a good counseling resource.  It sources a variety of Sciptures such as Philippians 4:8, Jeremiah 29: 11, Romans 8:28 and many others that we long-time christians have sent to the cliche bin.  But as with all Scripture, the meditation on them along with real testimony from another "who's been there" is not unlike a nice hot shower that washes away the grime of rough day. 

Cliche verses...  ...cliche comments... ...cliche prayers... ...these things mean very little when a cliche crises hit an individual.  Don't underestimate the power of a good word, but don't overestimate it either.  Someone who is really hurting will need strong encouragement - Scriptural washing - and most likley you can't solve all the problems in a single conversation.  So, rely on the leading of the Spirit to say the right things and consider passing this book along... ...and it may be a long road, stay with it whether you are in it or watching someone else in it.